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Top 10 Reasons to vote R Boys

Anna Coldbottom
Posted on Feb 03 2016 at 9:17 AM
Latest Articles | Anna Coldbottom

Here is a handy list of ten reasons to convince your limousine liberal friends to vote for Romney-Ryan.

10. Ryan does PX90 or whatever it's called. He is buff. Biden is old and loud.

9. Mitt doesn't drink or smoke. Obama drinks and says he has quit smoking, but no smoker can ever quit nicotine, which is more addictive than heroin. Smoking is a filthy habit.

8. Both Romney and Ryan have all their hair and very nice teeth. Obama is a nappy-headed man of nego origins. Biden has thinning white hair – yuk!

7. Obama was not born in the U.S. and should be deported, not Presidented for another four years.

6. Michelle Obama tries to tell fat people how to eat. I don't care about fat people. Why should I when they obviously don't care about themselves?

5. Obama is from Chicago, which is cold, dark and windy, like Obama himself. Mitt is light and breezey, like the Massachusetts coast with Sandy blowing it.

4. Ryan is so cute with his little Eddie Munster widow's peak. Mitt is so handsome. Biden is not cute. Obama is not handsome.

3. Mitt's wife is very stylish. She would probably redecorate the formerly White house like Nancy Reagan did. Wouldn't that be nice?

2. A Black President makes our country look weak, like we don't have any white people good enough for the office anymore.

1. Uh, hello. Romney is white. Obama is black.