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The Masters rules of Race

Morty Rabinovitzski
Posted on Apr 13 2013 at 9:57 AM
Latest Articles | Morty Rabinovitzski

Augusta National Golf Club, the most racist, sexist, anti-semetic and exclusive golf club in the world, has once again proven that if you are a jew, a spic, a Negro, a booger eating moron, a girl, or a chink, you lose. 

In classic use of Miranda  v. Arizona "anything you say can and will be used against you" the Masters used what Tiger Woods said in a post-round interview against him to add two strokes to his score on Friday.  Tiger, being both the Negro and the chink, clearly fits into two of the unprotected classes listed above.  And if you count diddling a Denny's waitress with two kids, he may be a pansy and a booger eating moron too – but at least he ain't no Jew.

To be consistent, the Masters hates children too.  A 14-year-old chink from Cambodia, North Korea, China, or any of those gook countries on the other side of the world that we really couldn't give a shit about because they don't have oil, also had a stroke added to his score. And for what?  For playing like he drives, slow, in the wrong lane, and completely and totally lost.  

Hats off to the Masters for doing everything they can to ensure that a WASP, Silverspoon Republican, hopefully from Houston, wins the green jacket once again.  The real winner – the Masters.

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