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The Gay Problem

Hardy Bohner
Posted on Apr 11 2018 at 8:43 AM
Latest Articles | Hardy Bohner

The Catholic church is taking some blows with its latest papal intrigues tied to banking scandals and pedophilia, but gay marriage may be an even bigger threat to the church's authority. Gay marriage is a blow that threatens to ejaculate and implode twin power structures in place for two thousand years. Like the twin towers that stood for decades in New York City, the church's twin towers of fear and gayness rise and fall together. If they are both to continue standing erect, gay marriage must be stopped cold.

Mainstreaming gay marriage could give the whole game away. Sanctioning gay marriage could destroy a lot of beasty priesty pleasures whose perverse desires – their only real pleasure in life – depend on their secret actions not being sanctioned by the greater society. The sacrifices these men make for the spectacle, the pageantry, the veneer of religion for its use as cover for all manner of state-sanctioned perversions – the mass murder of innocents through wars of aggression, for one – they feel, gives them license to engage their lower desires in ways which the society they hoodwink would most decidedly not approve.

Mainstreaming gay marriage, codifying gayness, would leave the beasty priesties no choice but to take their pedophiliac perversions ever deeper, perhaps to torture and murder. Keeping gay marriage illegal could help us maintain the status quo and not force priests and other closeted Sodomites into graver perversions.

I went through the seminary with many, many beasty priesties, and I have known many of them all my life (not in the Biblical sense; I am not gay), so I understand whereof I speak. They feel their sacrifices for the state and the society give them license to enjoy boys, like a businessman's working all day for his family and then partaking of a nice cut of veal. 

"The Black Cat" by Edgar Allen Poe explains it all. Human pleasures depend on secrecy and perversion, on taking actions anathema to God's laws or, if you're uncomfortable with any talk of the Greek "Dios," then you will kindly accept that certain laws apply to the universe, natural laws which govern every living thing in this world. Man's problem, and much of his pleasure, derives precisely from feeling the boundaries of those laws and then stretching or perverting them, like a dog finding the end of his rope line and tugging on it. How far do you want to go? Just past where the universe knows it's decent to go, of course, just past where God's umbilical rope on you ends. You want to go just past that, and pervert all that is holy and right. And that's your right as an American, of course. That's what freedom is all about.

So God Bless America, and ban gay marriage, or the whole game could quickly unravel.