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The Black Guy Gets It

Jack O'Mahoff
Posted on Dec 13 2018 at 11:23 AM
Latest Articles | Jack O'Mahoff

Like those buddy movies where the token Black guy always dies early, Obama is about to make his exit halfway through the feature. Admire the bold scope of our plan. Bush takes from Clinton the biggest surplus in history, and in eight years turns it into the biggest deficit any country has ever known. He starts a couple wars (including the longest running one in American history) while cutting taxes for the wealthiest among us, gives further tax breaks to the oil industry (when it is making record profits every quarter), steers billions of dollars to war profiteers like his VP Dick Cheney and his own daddy in the Carlyle Group, encourages policies that escalate the loss of American jobs to third-world countries, and, finally (with the help of free marketeer genius Alan Greenspan) oversees the housing market bubble burst and ushers in the biggest financial collapse since the market crash of 1929 brought us the Great Depression.

W turns the keys over to "The Black Guy," and (eureka!) this half-breed is unable to fix the damage and turn the ship back into the hallowed waters it sailed before Bush took the helm. It has been fun to pretend to be shocked at this outcome.

Nobody could have fixed the mess Obama was left with, of course, and that is the true genius of our long-range plan, the reason we trotted out the psychotic John McCain (who wasn't even remotely palatable to the base) and the naughty librarian, oddly crow-voiced Bridge-to-Nowhere hottie Sarah Palin. We Republicans didn't WANT the mess we had created, and who better to hand this shipwreck to than the black guy. It has been fun to call him arrogant (which he most certainly is), and to watch him try to squirm out of the concrete overshoes of economic armageddon we've poured for him.

Politics, like the movies, is just plain fun when the black guy gets it and the "Right" man triumphs. This outcome was obviously pre-ordained by a righteous God to save the country. If Obama were to stay in office another four years, the whole government might be run like the post office, which a certain group of people have completely taken over. Have you stood in line there lately?