C. Wadsworth

Jack Mahoff

Morty Rabinovitzski

Anna Coldbottom

Hardy Bohner

Leah Nice

Daon Lo

Dr. Mengeli

Toby Thomas



This web site debunks the Big Lie of Liberal Media. We exist because so many people watch TV and surf the web like moths doing wingovers into tiki torch flames. Fly away, Love.  

Buy our Book Now!

Latest Articles

Soul Search

Jack O'Mahoff
Posted on Feb 03 2016 at 10:17 AM
Latest Articles | Jack O'Mahoff

We have barely one month from the Mayan calendar prediction of the end of life as we know it, on Dec. 21, 2012. Do you know where your soul is? I had to place mine on a low shelf a few years back in order to invest in Raytheon, Halliburton, Boeing, GE, I.G. Farben, Krups, Rockefeller's U.S. Steel and a few other war-profiteering corporations. Worthy investments all, but now I'm afraid my soul seems to have slipped away "into thin air," like the Mt. Everest climbers in the book of that name by John Krakauer. I was sure I had a backup soul put in place at some point after I had to shelve my original; but I can't recall if I hauled it along on my tour in Vietnam, can't recall if I carried it with me along with Nixon's orders on bombing runs in Cambodia and Laos. I can't recall if maybe I dropped it in a tank of Monsanto's Agent Orange I filled one day to spray some farmers' fields.

I know it's just a matter of remembering where I last had it or used it. I half recall lending it in 1981  to somebody in CIA who wanted to borrow it after murdering Torrijos in Panama and helping to continue the Kennedy hit coverup. I guess I'm getting on in years, or something. I could have sworn it was with me when I was helping run sanctions in Iraq that killed more than 500,000 children, because I remember that when Madeline Albright said it was worth it to kill those children for the larger purpose of saving the country it gave me a kind of soulful swelling to realize I had been a part of that, had contributed to a country's greatness and growth – both Iraq's and ours, just like we continue doing in Iraq now, just continuing our goodwill there to help the Iraqi people by bringing democracy and Mcdonalds and Haliburton's famous efficiency to the yahoos on camels.

If anybody knows me out there besides the sympathetic devil whose help I do not need, have never needed, please email and let me know if you have seen my soul, the original or my backup. This Mayan thing is probably bunk, but it pays to have some backup plan, like the one we had going into Iraq in case they didn't greet us with the flowers Rumsfeld surmised they would, and when Iraq's own oil didn't begin to pay for the restoration as Paul Wolfowitz bravely promised it would. Wait, bad analogy; we HAD no backup plans there at all, but Empire doesn't need any. I, on the other hand, might, so I continue my search.

I see Ron Paul just gave his last speech before his retirement from the House of Representatives. I think I'll try to email my friend from Texas (whose sign some republican neighbor stole from my yard (I know because there isn't a democrat living within 50 miles of me, thank goodness) and see if Dr. Paul can have a quick look around Washington before his final exit to see if maybe there's not a soul there somewhere somebody is not using that I could borrow for the big day, just, you know, in case it should turn out that I need one.