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Say Yea! to the NRA!

C. Wadsworth
Posted on May 05 2013 at 11:14 AM
Latest Articles | C. Wadsworth

I'm more excited than Eric Holder selling guns to Mexicans at the 142nd Annual National Rifle Association Convention being right here in beautiful downtown Houston. I just spent a relaxing afternoon strolling the convention hall and I learned so much about guns I feel like mowing down some terrorist or Nazi zombie right now (paper and plastic targets available at reduced rates).

One section contained outstanding exhibits on hunting vacations. Shooting an elephant isn't only for Commie writers like George Orwell; YOU TOO can gun down elephants, lions and other endangered species on "responsible big game hunts". Or if travel is too pantywaist for your taste, you can go feral hog hunting from a helicopter right here in our blessed Texas.

Another row contained firearm finery for females. Concealed carry purses, customized car sidearm holders, even a combination double boulder holster. Shoot that nipple clip my way, Annie Oakley!

2nd Amendment messages spewed rapid fire like a ammo from a machine gun. "Deport Piers Morgan!" Ted Nugent for President!" and free "Stand and Fight" buttons for everyone-no pussy duty to retreat here in these hallowed halls where the porcine, bovine and asinine all strutted in silent approval.

Of course, outside the convention center some sick liberals held a pitiful protest. " My Child"s Life Is More Important Than Your Gun Rights" read one sign held by a woman who looked like the only way she would be impregnated was by automatic weaponry. Nearby a firearm hating faggot read a list of names of people he claimed were killed in gun violence. If his fellow homos had had guns in Nazi Germany, maybe they wouldn't have been shipped off to concentration camps to wear pink triangles.

I can hardly wait for tomorrow morning's prayer breakfast. I can"t think of anything more compatible with the teachings of Jesus than guns, knives, bullets, and an atavistic fetishizing of violence. May God Bless the National Rifle Association as it continues to ensure the right of every man, woman and child to live in the kind of fear of each other that only arming to the teeth can bear.



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