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Latest Articles

Romney spanks Boy in Chief

C. Wadsworth
Posted on May 01 2013 at 10:04 AM
Latest Articles | C. Wadsworth

In Wednesday night's glorious first Presidential debate, Mitt Romney spanked the lazy ass of his illegitimate Muslim Marxist opponent just as he did his own "boys" when they lied through their teeth. On issue after issue, Romney schooled O'Zombie about his real policies to end the era of "trickle down government" and go back to the strong stream of "trickle down wealth" spraying from the vigorous prostates of the top 1 percent.

Romney offered his progressive "states rights" solutions on reforming Medicare, Medicaid, Social Security,etc by turning these entitlements back to state control where they belong. Let Mississippi handle Mississippi's poor, elderly, minorities, all those shiftless scum who depend on the Government Nanny for their subsistence milk suck. Why not Include voting rights, race relations and every other jurisdictional issue? Such a strict constructionist view would save even more money to pay for tax cuts for the job providers and may even return O'BumBoy and his ilk to their original 3/5th of a person status, further trimming the budgets of the many handout programs they rely on, sending them back into the fields and big houses where they can contribute to their upkeep.

Many left liberal commentators were "shocked" at O"Moron"s lackluster performance. It looked like he had returned to his Choom Gang days, sparking a spliff of The Chronic before stepping on stage. Al Gore even tried to blame altitude sickness for O'Oxygen Deprived's stumbles. In reality, he was soaring as high as Big Bird, a flightless flop of a fowl whose cushy nest on Socialist Street is about to be bombed into oblivion by the power of Romney"s blessed bird of prey. I only pray the Mormon elders who allowed Mitt his meth injection exception on Wednesday continue to understand that he needs more than the wisdom of Joseph Smith to smite the Communist demon from the no longer White House. He needs every artificial stimulant, artful dodge and weave, and artless lie he can contrive to finally send the undead Kenyan back to the Nazi netherworld where he emerged only four short years ago.

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