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Rectal Rehydration contraindicated for Homo Gays

Posted on Dec 30 2014 at 12:13 PM
Latest Articles | Mengeli

In Germany we perfected many useful torture techniques which the Americans have borrowed with all the reckless fervor of the misguided amateur. The rectum (rectum intestinum in the Latin) is a soft tissue entry point that can be used to deliver certain pleasant sensations; but probed properly by the enhanced interrogation specialist, it is most useful for delivering enormous pain. In addition, lesser races steeped in “machismo”  – such as those of the Arab, Mexican or Black specie – will take special umbrage to being forcefully penetrated in this area. However, certain species or types may not only not be properly humiliated by rectal hydration, but could in fact enjoy it. Rectal rehydration is contraindicated for these peoples.                

I fear CIA may have failed to account for the enormous population of homosexuals as it titillates the world press services with stories of its rectal rehydration program.

Though the agency has cleverly leaked its rectal rehydration program to titillate and terrify heterosexuals, I fear it may have failed to consider the enormous number of sexual perverts, the country’s secret army of sodomite homo gays, or how do you say in American English – buggerers, butt pirates, riders of the Hershey highway? There are many thousands of gay homos in this country whom the CIA’s rectal rehydration progroms could be turning into  terrorists.

Queer homos, unfortunately, like to have things jammed forcefully into their rectums, so all this media talk of rectal rehydration could be exciting a whole generation of both American and worldwide homo gays into terrorist acts. They will blow up buildings now for the reward of the anal raping. This is not good. The CIA must control the press better than it is right now. Operation Mockingbird is not working so well right now.

Torture, alas, is not what it used to be. We thought we had all the homos exterminated in Eastern Europe, that problems such as this one would not rise again. We were mistaken, but I have faith that the Americans can fix this problem. Americans can fix anything, if if you give them a hammer. They are especially good with the hammer, though not as good as the Koreans. But that is another story.