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Rapists in Foxholes

C. Wadsworth
Posted on Feb 03 2016 at 9:35 AM
Latest Articles | C. Wadsworth

What's all this fuss about sexual assaults against women in the military? When I was growing up "Your Mother wears Army Boots" was an insult; now it"s a turn on. Senator Saxby Chambliss is right to blame the raging hormones of youth for rape in the ranks. When I served in Vietnam I made plenty of whores moan. For all I know, I am the father of our own DAON LO – though probably not, as if it had been legitimate rape that Saigon slut should have expelled my seed easily.

Senator Jeff Sessions also tossed off a good one by blaming "girlie magazines sold on army bases". What young soldier wouldn't be inspired to sexually assault a colleague when he picks up a Playboy? I think I read in Penthouse Forum once a letter on the subject:

"Dear Forum: I was furiously masturbating to pornography in my barracks one afternoon when one of my female fellow soldiers sauntered past. I immediately was seized with the urge to drag her by the hair into a latrine and violently penetrate her. Signed Staff Sargent Stiffy"

Clearly, the solution to this problem is to remove women from the armed services entirely, except as maids and cooks, their traditional roles in civilian society. Then the macho men of the military can return their focus to perpetuating the institutionalized violence against foreigners that is the real purpose of these forces, rather than wasting their testosterone slapping their testes against the dresses of women soldiers.