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Latest Articles

Rapists Go With God

Hardy Bohner
Posted on Jul 16 2013 at 2:06 PM
Latest Articles | Hardy Bohner

Another brave Republican has boldly stepped forward to announce what every legitimate Republican knows by now: an impregnated woman is solely to blame for her condition regardless of circumstances, and she must therefore carry the seed to term.  On the heels of  Rep. Senate candidate Todd Akin teaching us all that "legitimate rape" cannot cause pregnancy, comes word from Rep. Senate candidate Richard Mourdock that every rape pregnancy, "is something that God intended to happen." Amen, Brothers Akin, Murdock, and all legitimate Republicans everywhere. You know truth when you see it and have the cojones to spell it out for the morally degenerate others.

The simplicity of our stance is its beauty and truth. Whether it's a Skull & Bones fraternity brother "raping" an unconscious virgin teenager laid out by vodka and a Rufie, or, say, a man putting it to his 14-year-old daughter, or a legitimate Republican doing it the old fashioned way with his wife – it all amounts to the same thing. It is a God-sanctioned event whenever a man decides to blow his load, end of story. Women are simply baby vessels, so it's up to us men to set the moral standards. 

Mourdock further stated in plain English that he would not permit abortion even in the case of rape. That has also always been the position of our Republican Vice Presidential candidate Paul Ryan. Though Ryan did admittedly appear to waffle on this cardinal item during his debate with Biden, I'm sure he was just playing to the electorate. The key is WE know his intentions. No abortion for any reason is the position of the Republican party platform. That's the kind of moral clarity this country needs. And Romney, who strongly endorses Mourdock, would absolutely push that same beautiful agenda.

And I have no doubt that all legitimate Republicans will step forward to help care for all these babies we are no longer going to allow to be aborted. Republican charity towards the types of people who would even consider abortion has always been legendary; so I'm sure these new additions to our population will land in good hands and make our country stronger.

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