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Latest Articles

NFL Beatdowns

C. Wadsworth
Posted on Feb 03 2016 at 9:33 AM
Latest Articles | C. Wadsworth

I'm madder than Ray Rice in an Atlantic City elevator at this PC pussy crap about the NFL and domestic violence. If our modern gladiators need to slap around their baby Mamas or babies, by God they should. Let's look at a few modest proposals to help.

1. MASOCHIST BABY MAMA CAMP: My first solution is to open a training camp for these Gold Digger Lover Bitches who trap these big men with multiple children by multiple women. If the NFL held "twat tryouts" similar to collegiate walk on camps,  all these interested Ho's could gather in Cali or Florida for a few weeks each season to let the players gang bang them in dorms. Team doctors could provide Roofies and condoms to help the players plow their fertile fields quickly and safely. This brainstorm is cheaprer than..

2. PERMANENT PRISONS: For the women and children of couse. The NFL could contract with FEMA to make solid use of its empty "relocation centers" as Brave New World style child rearing facilitates. Again, Soma and sex for all cummers! 

3. VEGAS ODDS: Why not just place bets on which players will beat their chicks and kids on a weekly basis? Vegas could set odds just like it does on games or boxing matches. Imagine the fun sitting in front of the Big Board in the Sports Book at Caesars' Palace. You could bet on teams ( ten grand on Arizona to lose a backup running back this weekend!) or individual players kind of like Hollywood Squares (Greg Hardy to block his conviction! What meds does Brandon  Marshall need to stop beating his wives? Etc). 

So what if over 80 players have been arrested on domestic violence and at least a dozen are suiting up for our entertainment this Sunday? The NFL is not a tea party. Every kid should have the chance to watch his Mother have the shit beaten out of her. I know it helped make a man out of me. If you don't agree, maybe I should go all Pittsburgh Punt returner on your sorry ass and dropkick you in the face. Never mind, my bitch just walked in so I will take my aggressive anger out on her.

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