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Monsanto is in Control

Jack O'Mahoff
Posted on May 22 2018 at 8:50 AM
Latest Articles | Jack O'Mahoff

I'm not convinced my little yellow friend, Daon Lo, knows what he's talking about regarding what he calls "MONSATAN," but I think he does understand the general idea of the company's noble quest to control the world's population and politics. Daon Lo's MONSATAN is indeed on track to control the world's food supply and, in turn, anyone who eats that food. The eugenics possibilities alone are so exciting that it is difficult for me to even think about this subject without having to adjust the tightening crotch of my hand-sewn Alexander McQueen slacks.

Agent Orange kills every living plant with which it comes into contact, and as a special bonus also causes birth defects which make it the gift that keeps on giving to people whose politics we don't like. It certainly is a fine product from a company worthy of inclusion in any legitimate Republican's investment portfolio.

But AO is a bit heavy-handed for domestic application, which requires more finesse, which is why the good people of Daon Lo's MONSATAN have created Roundup Ready corn, soybeans, beets and other vegetables, and finally, at long last, alfalfa, so that soon it will be impossible to eat any non-monsatanized foods.  Roundup Ready kills everything except that which has been genetically engineered to resist it, and herein lies the beauty, the art. The plants themselves contain the pesticide, so eating genetically modified plants forces people to directly digest the pesticides they might normally wash away at the sink on the outer skin of a fruit or vegetable.

You begin to see the beauty and the art? We don't need to kill people with phosphorous bombs or depleted uranium munitions anymore. Now, a corporation can eliminate a certain part of the population or perhaps an entire continent of people without spilling any blood. No more messy United Nations sanctions or approbation or talk of War Crimes Tribunals. All you need do now is engineer a peoples' food so that not only can you deny them the nutrients they need to grow and reproduce and flourish, you can also poison them directly with GMO pesticided foods.

Do you imagine some poor person or poor country could protest? MONSATAN simply claims proprietary privilege in every case and there is no legal avenue to compel the company to reveal its secrets to saving the world's food supply.

MONSATAN just happily "hoodwinked" (with, of course, a little cash and a few well-placed connections) the FDA into approving GMO alfalfa, which has, for some reason, grown remarkably well without Monsatan's "help" for thousands of years. Alfalfa is ubiquitous throughout the world, but GMO plants cross pollinate to taint all or most organic plants nearby. When that happens, Monsanto, which has patented all the seeds of the world that it can – and Monsatan's CEO announced years ago that the company's goal is to take proprietary control of all the seeds in all the world – claims ownership of those cross-pollinated plants and prosecutes farmers whose plants have been tainted with the glorious beauty of Monsanto GMOs.

Yes, God is Great, but MONSATAN may be greater, as this company can now take the power of life and death out of God's hands and make it a corporate privilege to grant new life, or a corporate option to terminate other life.

So all hail Monsanto, and make your investments in this fine company today. Cash in while you still can.