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Makin Akin

C. Wadsworth
Posted on Dec 13 2018 at 11:23 AM
Latest Articles | C. Wadsworth

Why all the fuss about Rep. Clay Akin's comment about "legitimate rape"? As I pointed out in my previous post about Paul Ryan's Personhood plan, any zygote sturdy enough to survive the vigorous process of rape or incest is a God-sanctioned embryo. Four out of five doctors I surveyed at Rick's Cabaret recently agreed; if one of their tadpoles managed to breach the yolk of one of the young ladies luxuriating on our laps, that soul should see the soil of our sacred sphere.

Weak-willed Democrats may require consent from their sexual partners, but rock ribbed Republicans know power is the greatest aphrodisiac. Just as our Muslim enemies can forestall having their countries bombed into oblivion by our Hellfire missiles by expelling terrorists from their lands, raped women have the biological ability to eject unwanted fetuses from their violated wombs. Perhaps we can put pregnant raped women into Gitmo, where our righteous torturers can water board them, deprive them of food and water or strip them in twisted positions in darkened rooms for hours on end as their rapists did. If that won't work to separate the illegitimate babies from their bellies, I suggest a corps of "Ryan Youth" who can kick these sick sluts down a flight of stairs. That will offer our Christian elites a new avenue of government service and show these hussy harlots the difference "legitimate" and "illegitimate" rape.