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Kicking Pregnancy

Hardy Bohner
Posted on Feb 03 2016 at 10:40 AM
Latest Articles | Hardy Bohner

Rep. Todd Akin's (R-Mo) declaration Sunday that "Legitimate Rape" will not cause pregnancy prompted our own C. Wadsworth Longfellow to entertain compassionate conservative methods for terminating a zygote. C. Wad posited that it may not be considered abortion (which, of course, none of us at can abide) if a pregnant woman miscarries after being kicked down a flight of stairs.

The moral compass points always to intent. If one kicks a pregnant woman intending to cause a miscarriage, one is actually committing – or attempting to commit – murder. However, kicking a pregnant woman down some stairs without intending to cause a miscarriage leaves a hopeful gray area that may allow some wiggle room (both zygotic and moral). Rep. Akin's argument regarding "legitimate rape" seems to fall somewhere down those logical stairs (with, say, a screaming, cartwheeling pregnant woman) into that same gray area.

The key here is to keep things simple:  it's the woman's fault either way and no matter what happens. Since we now know a proper Christian woman can't get pregnant in the first place from a "Legitimate Rape," if she does get pregnant and then gets kicked down a flight of stairs (by a man who may or may not be attempting an abortion; he just needs to stay focused on his intent), if she fails to carry that baby to term she is a murderess, a dark Delilah of the soul, who, for all we know, said or did or thought something evil that caused her to be kicked down the stairs.

The principal thing to remember is that women are on this earth only to function as baby vessels, so we men must set the moral standards.