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George Zimmerman, Not a Jew

Morty Rabinovitzski
Posted on Feb 03 2016 at 9:29 AM
Latest Articles | Morty Rabinovitzski

Contrary to popular belief, just because a man has the last name "Zimmerman" it does not mean that he is of the Jewish faith.  George Zimmerman, not a Jew, was recently acquitted of second-degree murder charges in the shooting death of Treyvon Martin.   

How do we know Zimmerman isn't Jewish?  First of all, the gun he used was an Austrian made Glock.  No self-respecting Jew would own a gun manufactured in former Nazi territory.  Most heavily armed Jews that I know carry TAAS small firearms made by Israeli Military Industries in  Ramay HaSharon, Israel.  Unlike the Austrian versions, a TAAS is guaranteed not to misfire or get the maid pregnant.

Second, George Zimmerman was only 28 years old at the time of the shooting and he was living in Florida.  Everyone knows that Jews aren't allowed to move to Florida until they reach retirement age.  Exceptions are made for AARP members, but everyone knows you can't join AARP until you're at least 50 years old.  Again, not a Jew.

And last but not least, any Jew worth his weight in Dead Sea salt knows better than to stalk schvartzes at night.   In fact, most Jews know better than to stalk schvartzes at all.  My bubbe always told me "no good can come from stalking schvartzes. "

While the criminal justice system in Florida clearly works, even if your lawyer isn't Jewish,  Zimmerman will one day answer for his crimes . . . just like Orenthal J Simpson, Kobe Bryant And Michael Jackson did.