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Drones & RPGs for all

Jack O'Mahoff
Posted on Feb 03 2016 at 10:43 AM
Latest Articles | Jack O'Mahoff

A concerned reader writes that Obama is deviously using a provision of the PATRIOT-ACT the Bush administration rammed through Congress. “We (republicans) are having our own drone program used against us by the democrats,” he writes. “They can shoot us from 40,000 feet up and we never know what hit us. Our automatic hand guns are no longer effective for anything but robbing convenience stores. . .  ” His solution is simple and fair: “ We need a constitutional amendment that allows only republicans to own surface-to-air missiles.”

But in the interests of sanity, the reader also wisely suggests that we arm ourselves with single shooter RPGs only.  “Republicans should be allowed to make and possess as many single-shot shoulder mounted missiles that we want. We should be allowed to make and own personal drones (with single shot missiles) for protection.”

The possibilities of neighborhood skirmishes abound, along with the economic opportunities that more powerful weaponry also brings. Just imagine operating your own drone with your iphone or  ipad as you sip, say, an orange mocca frappucino from an overstuffed chair at your favorite Starbucks. And closer to home, the possibilities are almost endless as you could become a real player in your own program of urban renewal.

“They would be really cool to shoot off at night,” he writes. “Everyone in my neighborhood would love to have one. Someone would be firing one off at 2 or 3 AM. Then the neighbor would shoot his back at the guy that woke him up, and so on. It would be really great if America could become more laid back about this, like Iraq is. Everyone should be able to have an IED or IUD (not sure which), also single shot of course. Later on we can petition for fully automatic ones, and up to 50 per household.”

Destroying property and rebuilding may be the best chance we have to rebuild our whole economy. A few people are likely to be maimed or killed, but that, too, brings economic abundance. Private hospitals, doctors, triage and treatment nurses, undertakers, funeral homes, churches, burial services and cemetery plot sellers all cash in when people are injured or killed.    One man or family’s death is always a boon to the business of others. And there’s no question this country is overcrowded; so you are really taking care of many problems at once as the herd thins, people disappear (after their relatives pay all the attendant disposal fees and such, of course) and houses and businesses need rebuilding from the collateral damage, so the construction industry just thrives.

We are so good at working this industry in other countries that it’s high time we bring it home. Charity begins at home, and the charity will really flow once we open this thing up and let America and Americans do what we do best.