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Democrat Masturbators beaten again

Jack O'Mahoff
Posted on Nov 21 2014 at 2:56 PM
Latest Articles | Jack O'Mahoff

When Texas democrats finally quit masturbating at the polls last night, Republicans all across our great state could see we had clearly reaffirmed what we treasure most, a decided dismissal of public education and healthcare. Republican Governor Rick Perry, who enjoyed 14 years of loyal partisan rule, has successfully handed the reins to our new leader, Republican Greg Abbott. Perry had clearly done a fantastic job of which Republican voters approved.
                                       
Governor Perry leaves us in 49th place out of 50 states in education, and we’re understandably damn proud of that. Education is dangerous in the hands of the poor and the others we need for cheap labor in our oil industry. The dangers of education have never been more clear. Education enabled an uppity negro to turn the White House Black. Obama could never have been produced by our great state. We’ve got the 14th largest economy in the world, so you know we’re a smart state of people – because only smart people know how to make money – who know better than to spend their money on education. If we want our own kids smart, we send them to private schools. No self-respecting person I know in Texas sends his kid to public schools.

Texas needs ditch diggers more than doctors, oil field and fracking drillers more than engineers and scientists, who only turn around with their so-called “science” and give us unpalatable predictions about the weather and the dearth of potable water and the sorry state of planet earth.  An oil or fracking industry job does not require a college or even a high school education. A manual laborer never threatens the powers in place, never threatens us.

Educated people are always crowing about climate change, equal rights for women, public education, clean air and water, citizens’ access to the courts. We don’t need clean air and water or any of those other annoyances in Texas. All we’ve ever needed is deregulation. We need to let businesses run unencumbered by any regulation whatsoever. We all know, as Reagan said, that government is the problem, not the solution. Perry proved that just as Reagan did before him, and just as Abbott will after him. Government in any form just creates a shitty mess. It can't be counted on to do anything helpful, except to get out of the way and let business flourish – and maybe throw in a couple billion to Big Oil for the 'oil depletion allowance,' subsididize the nuclear power industry, bail out the biggest banks, clear the field for corporations with the Monsanto Protection Act, that sort of thing.

Another thing for us to be proud of is that our great state also ranks worst in the nation in health care services and delivery, according to the federal Agency for Health Care Research and Quality. As with education, you get what you pay for. I don’t know anybody who can’t afford the best healthcare money can buy. Obamacare doesn’t affect those of us who matter one way or another, except that it might cost us a little more to fund some of our employees healthcare.

Greg Abbott famously told his constituents that he had an easy job; all he did, he said, was wake up everyday and go to work and sue Barack Obama. I love that. Abbott won all but 26 of the 30 lawsuits he filed against the federal government, a figure which obviously impressed Republican voters. (A .133 batting average is pretty damn good when you consider the guy had to take his swings at Obama from a wheelchair.)  Abbott didn’t need Obama telling him or Texas how to run our healthcare system, so he spent a couple million bucks and hired a Chicago firm who lost  every case they touched, but Abbott’s point was made: Don’t mess with Texas. Obama got the message and so did Texas voters: It’s more important to make it clear to a negro that we aren’t going to do anything he says than it is to improve our education or healthcare systems. Perry and Abbott know what’s important, and clearly so do Texas voters.

So congratulations to Houston Republicans!  You showed Obama who’s boss of us, and you showed those Democrat masturbators just how futile it is to try educating or caring for the rabble in our proud state!    

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