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Latest Articles

Cure Meningitis with Phone Sex

Morty Rabinovitzski
Posted on Feb 03 2016 at 10:20 AM
Latest Articles | Morty Rabinovitzski

It has been widely reported over the last few days that a contaminated batch of steroids has caused a severe outbreak of meningitis across the country. The death toll is currently at 12 and is expected to rise. 

In an attempt to be proactive, Governor Rick Scott, Republican from Florida, gave out a toll-free hotline number for Flor-idiots  who were concerned about the outbreak.  The number was announced at a cabinet meeting on Tuesday, but as luck would have it, Governor Scott  gave out the wrong number.

Being a Rabbi with a lot of my flock retired in Miami (many of whom regularly inject steroids so they can earn extra cash wrestling), as soon as I heard the Governor announce the hotline number, I called.  "Hello boys, thank you for calling me on my anniversary."  It was a sexy woman's voice with a thick New York accent which, oddly enough, sounded a lot like my bubby.  "Bubby, is that you?" Silence.  Click.

As it turns out, Governor Scott transposed one of the numbers and gave out my bubby's phone sex number instead of the meningitis hotline number.   

If you are afraid you or a family member may have contracted meningitis, call 866-523-7339. If you are just horny for some hot phone sex, call 1-900-Sexy-Jews.  You know Governor Scott approved this message!

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