C. Wadsworth

Jack Mahoff

Morty Rabinovitzski

Anna Coldbottom

Hardy Bohner

Leah Nice

Daon Lo

Dr. Mengeli

Toby Thomas




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C Wad Book Review

Cigar Man
Posted on Nov 13 2020 at 9:43 AM
Latest Articles | Cigar Man

– by C. Wadsworth Longfellow

What’s all this fuss about some rich white witch LARPing as a poor Spic? Isn’t all fiction made up? I’d like to ask the owners of Blue Willow books out in Westchester if they’d quit their quiche-and-carnitas-eating cultural appropriation and give their maids copies of MY latest books written from a series of woke P.O.Vs

American Hurt – A postoperative transsexual whose continual need to dilate the gash that allegedly is her new sexual organ drives her to madness.

American Squirt – An insecure lesbian embarrassed by her incontinent vaginal secretions finds love in the bull dyke biker community.

American Spurt – A tortured twink bug chases a variety of sexually transmitted diseases.

American Yurt – a Mongolian immigrant family find love and extra milk & butter in tender bestiality encounters with their yak herd. TRIGGER WARNING-Explicit sex scenes.

American Furry T&A – A set of tragic scientific and medical mistakes leaves a confused male furry with hermaphroditism.

American Shirt – Radical feminists battle an oppressive town council in the conservative Midwest over their right to appear topless in public.

American Burt – A Deconstructionist view of the toxic masculinity of the Burt Reynolds cinematic oeuvre.

American Pert – A photo essay of wet t-shirt contests, nipple slips, and candid neighborhood pool shots and selfies submitted by underage girls.

American Girth – Angry plus-size models lure their sexist oppressors to hotel hookups, then crush them to death while forcing them to film hostage videos confessing to their fat shaming faux pas.

Believe me, we can wake up more snowflakes with these literary syringes of genius than the Wehrmacht’s entire meth supply during Operation Barbarossa. I’d like to suggest all the bookstores in the Houston area consider hosting one of our upcoming literary salons on the topic of /has liberalism killed literature/. Or just sign a contract with us for an event and when you breach it, our Ashkenazi attorneys will take you for every cent you have. L’Chaim!

Dirty Joe Rocks!
– by Anna Coldbottom

The democrats continue to exceed even our lowest expectations for incompetence and poor judgment. It seemed greedy or even insane to imagine they could come up with a worse candidate than Hillary Clinton for 2020. But they’ve done it!  They’ve got their man – a serial pervert whose proclivities for  harassing underage girls and women is already legend. You can see the skin-crawling evidence in nearly a dozen video clips. I know. I’ve seen the videos. My skin was crawling. 

Yes, Me Too!  I had to wash my hands and my hair after watching dirty Joe Biden fondle one little girl after another in a parade of perversion they haven’t seen in DC since Nebraska’s Boystown teenagers were brought into the White House after hours to humor George HW Bush and friends.

Oh, say it IS so, Joe. Say you really are the frontrunner for the jackass party in 2020. I’m pinching myself to see how you’ve already raised more millions than the next donkey running for POTUS and are hell-bent on being their candidate. I’m positively giddy with excitement. I can honestly feel my secret places secreting the kind of joy I normally reserve only for extremely exclusive guests. Oh, thank you, righteous God!  Thank you, DNC!

Touched by an Uncle

The seemingly endless videos of dirty Joe handling captive little girls, fondling their hair as he whispers in their little ears until they jerk away in disgust and obvious discomfort are precious.  Precious!  I defy any legitimate lefty to watch just half a dozen of those nasty little clips and not conclude they’ve got a serial sex abuser on their hands.  Those videos are so distasteful and objectionable, I’m imagining YouTube and Google will, if they haven’t already, classify them as kiddie porn and outlaw their viewing or sharing on the web.  I can’t see how else they’ll be able to protect their twisted POTUS wannabe.

At least our guy (DT) pays for sex with adult prostitutes or entices gold-digging porn stars into intimacy with his amazing bankroll and celebrity status.  At least President Trump doesn’t fondle underage girls in captive photo ops just out of earshot of their parents.  At least our man goes for adult women above the age of consent.

As I watched dirty old Joe in nasty action with the poor little girls, it hit me: No wonder the old bastard helped us hang Anita Hill out to dry and put the big nasty himself – Clarence Thomas – on the Supreme Court in 1991. Sexual harassment was not a subject dirty Joe could afford to take on.  Imagine the dirt our side must have had on him even then to make him not only sit on his hands while our boys took Anita Hill apart, but to help us do it! Dirty Joe was in charge of that committee!  He more than helped, in fact. He was the one who decided not to call three other sexually-harassed women witnesses who would have sunk our little Oreo’s chances.  Dirty Joe gave us Clarence Thomas! He allowed our little black genius to declare himself the victim of a “high-tech lynching” despite the fact that his only accusers were as black as he was.  (Thomas rightly remembered the old lawyer’s dictum and followed it:  “If the facts aren’t on your side, argue the law. If the law isn’t on your side, argue the facts. If neither the facts nor the law are on your side, pound the table and yell like hell.”)

To which we can only say, “Thanks, Joe!  Thanks for the most corporate-friendly jurist the high court has seen in more than 100 years.  And thanks again for agreeing to carry the DNC mantel into the next “election.” With your insanely  obvious “Me Too” problems – and with little girls, no less! – we simply cannot lose. Your candidacy virtually guarantees us a lock on keeping Trump in charge through 2024.

To Put One Over

The only real issue I see now is that to put dirty Joe Biden over on the American people, to make them believe he is an electable candidate, will take every dirty trick available in the DNC's black bag, including the heavy use of left-loving censors at Google and YouTube.  Those videos are so damning it’s impossible to watch without concluding that something is very very, wrong with Dirty Joe, and very, very wrong with the democrats for pushing this creep to the head of the cue.

So for all my gratitude and optimism, we should also proceed on a note of caution: the censorship grows stronger daily. The visceral lib hatred of DT’s MAGA miracle makes any progress tenuous.  Stay tuned. . .


C.Wad cums on Dem Candidates

– by C. Wadsworth Longfellow

Anna Coldbottom’s latest facial about Gropin’ Joe Biden’s nasty habit of smelling the hair, rubbing the shoulders, fondling the forearms etc. etc. of every tiny tot in reach makes me realize that the DNC fishy fix is likely in for the former “Vice” Press, but I still must note some quick takes on a few of the dozens of contenders for the Iron Throne currently held by Winner and Still Heavyweight Champion God Emperor Trump.

1. Kamala Hairless – Actually, she has the hair of Zira from Planet of the Apes, the pounding pedigree with Beneath the Sheets of San Francisco Mayor Brown’s Willie, and the Hebrew husband necessary to win any Bankster War Party, but can a Quadroon Push Start Indian really win? Signs say “No”.

2. Beto O’Soy – Watching this fake Spic stand on dinner tables waving his arms like the bastard child of Bobby Kennedy and Gumby only makes me realize the P.C. Nazis of his Party won’t let hm sit at the lunch counter with the oppressed cool kids crowd.

3. Pete Buttplug – This twink has the advantages of sodomite Street cred yet he’s really just Beto on all fours. He should go back to South Bend where he can bend over some altar boys on the Notre Dame campus with his voting bloc of pedophile priests.

4. Pocahontas – Any Knoblock, Kristin Gillenhaal aka Tina Rutnik et all women- After Killery couldn’t add the Donald to the Clinton Hit List, no white woman has a chance.

5. Bernie – Bernie’s my favorite Commie Jew since they axed Trotsky in a Meskin Room.

6. Eric Sawllowell – Booker T and the MG’s, Hick and Looper, etc etc - Who?

If I were cursed to acquire, through Alzheimer’s, alcohol abuse, or tertiary syphilis, “Democrat-ia”- an ultra modern Intersectional mental disorder where logical reasoning dissolves and only the far left frontal lobe remains in your brain, I would vote for either Tulsi Gabbard-a hot Hawaiian Hindu who hates our foreign wars - or Andrew Yang - a high tech Chink entrepreneur who wants to give everyone $1000 a month for free from the Federal Gubmint. Maybe the Two of them can form a rocket to the top ticket “Gab My Yang” or at least open a good Asian restaurant together.

Otherwise..the MAGA juggernaut rolls on. . . TRUMP 2020!!