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2014 Homemade Halloween Costumes

C. Wadsworth
Posted on Feb 03 2016 at 9:22 AM
Latest Articles | C. Wadsworth

For those heathens among you who celebrate the devil"s "holiday" of All Hallow"s Eve, here is my list of cheap easy to make costumes, as I would never recommend polluting God's holy stream of commerce by purchasing a store bought disguise for Lucifer"s laughs,

1. NFL WIFE BEATER: Every real Texan and man has a few football jerseys leftover from the days they beat each other senseless in Friday Night Fights. Simply tear at the sleeves, paint your face black and be ready to assault every woman in range!

2. EBOLA VICTIM: Find some fake vomit or poo, paint your face black or wear scrubs and watch the crowds scurry as you Ralph repeatedly into the punch bowl!

3. EBOLA CARETAKER: Wrap some tin foil around a white jump suit, cover your face with Saran Wrap,,but be sure to leave some gaps for the "bodily fluids" to pour!

4. ISIS WARRIOR: A black sheet and pillowcase, a dull cut-out cutlass, and no one will wonder why the punch is red!

5. ISIS VICTIM: Just walk in as n average American trying to help the sand savages and hide a severed head under your gear!

Please come to the Houston Republican Halloween bash at UNDERPRIVILEGED BELLY on Upper Kirby. Free fetal jelly belly that shits REAL candy corn for the first hundred hotties who look like Sarah Palin, Michelle Bachman or MOOshell O'Bummer!