Elephant in the Room
Donald Trumps America
by Jack O'Mahoff
On your knees, America. Bow your head slightly but tilt your chin up, as Britains do for their Royals. Relax your jaw. Don't grind your teeth. Don't bite down. Above all, smile, mouth agape in wonder as you prepare to greet your new leader. Keep tissue on hand to clean the tears, the salty joy of victory from your face.
Behold the White Horse
This man is so clearly your better, and deserving of all your respect. He lives in gold-plated rooms. Where do you live? He can say whatever comes to his mind. What can you say? His wife is a supermodel. What's yours? His kids kill exotic endangered animals at private game resorts. What do yours kill? When he sees what he likes, he can "just grab her by the pussy." What can you grab, besides your own crotch? (If a reality TV star – a B lister – can just grab a woman by the vagina, imagine the liberties a U.S. President can take).
American Empire in Twilight?
Who says America is an Empire in twilight? These are high times for Empire, my minimum wage friends. In point of fact, you can change that to minimal wage, because our new leader will be taking any minimum wage law off the table. With our party's control of the House and Senate, we won't be hearing anything further about any minimum wage. Whatever's left of the 11 million illegals we don't get rounded up and returned to their own shabby countries, we can put to work here for a lot less than whatever minimal wage democrats would have tried to force upon us. We need cheap labor, my friends, and if we can't get it from your little brown-skinned brothers who voted Democrat — at least those who weren't too lazy to climb out of their welfare couches and vote — then we'll get it from you.
Haves and Have Mores Rule, Fool
We are the haves and have mores, as W explained a while back, and you are either with us or against us. We've got a million or so of your own working class kind ready to use against you if you don't fall in line, a little organization called the US Military. Maybe you've heard of it? So pull your little protests all you want. Your kind had eight years to grab her by the pussy. Now it's our turn.
Stump for Trump
by The Black Guy, Toby Thomas
I be thinking bout Donnie Trump humpin Hillary Cliton or pumpin right crosses into old Bernie Sanderson red face. That be some funny shit, Don wild hair flying while Hillary be screamin, not sure fo pain or pleasure cause that bitch look like she like pain. Bern dog don't take no standing eight, he just go down and never get up again. After way he be bitch slapping Henry Kissingher last night that old boy who killed him a couple million gooks be thinking same thing. Don't get on no airplane with Bernie after that shit last night, whoa!
You know Trump be best man fo the big job. Black peoples need to know I behind Trump 110 percent, so they back him too.
Barack didn't do black folks no favors. He make peoples buy insurance and keep on sending brothers to fight arabia.
So here's a wrap song I be writin for Don Trump, just a first draf, so don't worry about it. Maybe MC Hammond be pickin this shit up, use it to resrect his career. He be wearin them muthafuckin parachute pants, all shiney hip hoppin, jumpin all over the stage singing this shit. dig it fool
Bernie gonna Mao Tse Tongue your ass
Don't think that shit won't come to pass.
Them commies they take everything
they share you mama's wedding ring
they cut they nose to spite they face
they wreck what's left of your whole race.
While Trump be sippin Courvosier
He Jersey cool and come to play
Bernie fool he come to take
you hard earned riches, there go the bitches
So I be dreamin of Trump when I take a dump
I dreamin of Trump pumpin Hilly old rump
you gotta take your dump and pump for Trump
Dump and pump for Trump, chump
Dump and pump for Trump. . .
or something like that
New Hampshire Lamp
by C. Wadsworth Longfellow
Like Diogenes, the people of New Hampshire held up a lamp, finding an honest man in the cesspool of shiftless grifters running for President. Trump's triumph was so complete that in defeat, the desperate Establishment scrounged the slag heap for John Kasich, a mediocrity whose milquetoast persona is so out of step with The Donald 's post modern sizzle he's like a bland steak dinner at the Golden Corral buffet.
As to the Commie-crats, their primary hearkens back to the glory days of 1928 with Bernie ("Take Our Earnings") Sanders in the role of Samuel Gompers and Shrill Hillary as the fat New York phony Al Smith, substituting pussy power for Pope-ish plots.
As this reality show rolls to its inevitable conclusion, we will all watch with glee when President Trump screams "You're Fired!" as he strips the pension from the Kenyan Muslim usurper, sending him back to the mud hut where he was born while restoring a new coat of White Privilege to the once again White House!
Bonus Quote of the Day:
"Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we." – George W. Bush, 5